“You are the creator of your own destiny”. – Swami Vivekananda.

      I always believed in Swamiji’s motto that one can change their destiny with proper planning and hard work. I was an average student but through my consistent hard work I managed to do postgraduate. I got married to a wonderful person and my future became secure. But then when I met my friend of school and college, I had to rethink my views on destiny.

      My friend was not only beautiful but many more times intelligent then me. One day as a child she played doctor game with her sisters. She ate leaves of a plant as medicine offered to her and fell unconscious. After two days in the hospital she gained conscious. She set her heart to study medicine. Her decision was opposed as she was the second among three sisters. Father is the only earning member of the joint family.

     First attempt she passed the entrance but could not score the required percentage. Undeterred she gave a second attempt and she got through but her father said he could not support her financially. He has to marry off his elder daughter who has completed her graduation. My friend could not oppose her parents and also grandparents who had say in the family matters. Doing her post graduation she got married to a handsome guy. It was arranged marriage. Soon after I got married and lost touch.

    Now and then I get news that my friend and her hubby are in process of settling down. I came to know that she has registered herself for PhD. They have built a house. But there was no news of kids. After some years it was co-incidence that we both visited our hometown at the same time. And we met. I with my son of one year and she with her adopted son aged two. The fault was not hers and standing stiff opposition from in-laws she and her husband adopted the kid from an orphanage instead.

     I met again after four years and this time my friend was a widow. Her husband died in an accident. She was not given any support from in-laws because of the adoption. Further she was asked to give a share of husband’s property to his mother. To support her, her elderly parents moved in with her. She is given a job on compassionate grounds in her late husband’s office. Given her single status, she had to struggle in the all male terrain.

    Meanwhile she completed her PhD and got the doctorate degree. Still in her forties she thought of her future and decided to re-marry. But the proposals that came wanted her to abandon the son, so lovingly she bought up. She gave up the thought and concentrated on the future of her son. At the same time she is the son to her aging parents, taking care of their medical and emotional needs. Is it not true that our society has a say in the destiny of a woman. I am sure one day my friend will chart her own destiny in spite of the many obstacles.

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C.Radhika